


Fork You

by Little Faith (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Because of Reasons, Because of course he is, Bets & Wagers, Body Horror, Bucket List, Bucky is a butter knife, Crack, English, Family Dinners, Jack-o'-lanterns, Language, Loki has dinner, Magic, Moresomes, Multi, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Steve is a fork, Tags Are Fun, Tags Contain Spoilers, The Avengers are Cutlery, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Tongues, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony is a little spoon, Vacation, WTF, Why Did I Write This?, Why So Curious, bruce is a meat tenderizer, clint is a spork, natasha's a steak knife, thor is crab claw cracker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 16:23:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11490162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Little%20Faith
Summary: Tony is a spoon and he just wants someone to put him in their mouth.





	Fork You

I... I can't believe someone clicked on this.

You want to read an AU where the Avengers are forks and knives and spoons? Look, it seemed like a funny idea, but it was past bedtime. This is clearly a terrible idea.

Where would I even go with a premise like this? Maybe if I cross it over into the Beauty & the Beast universe, where at least the flatware can sing and dance.

I don't know, I started typing random letters into the tag box and clicking on the first thing that caught my eye.

There's...there's already an established ship for this? Shit, I gotta read that.

But in the meantime, we need to talk about your desire to read about Tony Stark as a tea spoon. Hmm. Maybe Pepper's a tea cup. No. No, I'm not writing this as an actual thing.

I feel like this is something Loki would do. Could do. Maybe Loki watched Beauty and the Beast and thought it'd be funny to take revenge on -- No. Dammit. Stop acting like this is a real story.

Wait, I need more tags.

 

And you.... You've obviously read everything worth reading and you're now so desperate for entertainment (Nick Fury: You've made me very desperate. You might not be glad you did) that you'll click on literally anything. Get off the internet. You're done. 


End file.
